Chosen

I knew before I had Reid that I would never be the same person I was before.  I wouldn't think the same, see people the same, or view the world the same.  This week has just been one of those weeks.  I'm so acutely aware of how people lead very different lives.  For those of us that have this new "view" on the world, strength is one of the most important things in our lives. 

My very good friend's little boy has pneumonia and he has been taken to a hospital out of town for more intensive care.  My friend called me this morning in tears to break the news that she was about to take an ambulance ride to the new hospital with her little boy where they would then insert a chest tube to relieve some of the fluid built up in his lung.  I know things like this happen all the time to all sorts of people.  It's just that this family has already been through so much with their little man.  You see, he was diagnosed with autism three years ago.  I've watched my friend be so strong for so long, working so hard to give him the best...the best doctors and the best care.

Last night as I drove to go visit with them in the hospital I couldn't help but do the "why me?" or "why us?"  There I was fighting tons of Valentine traffic trying to get Starbucks to my friend and her hubby thinking they would be up for a while with their guy.  I kept thinking about how sick he was and he already has challenges in life. I was also thinking of how I would then drive home to watch my baby scream as we do stretches for his torticollis and how he already has challenges in life.  See what's coming? Yep! Full on PITY PARTY!!  I don't do that very often.  I stay optimistic that we will be just fine and that our life is a wonderful one...because it is! :)  But, I'm human and I do have moments when I feel that that optimism has been drained out of me.  As I chatted with my friend before I left last night, I asked her..."Why do you think some people will go through life and never experience something so life changing and others will?  Why us?"  Well...I LOVE MY FRIEND!  She just said, "I like to think we were chosen."  Oh my....so simple but so true!  She immediately made me think of the poem my daddy sent me when I was at the end of my pregnancy with Reid.  The Special Mother by Erma Bombeck still makes me cry.  Please don't join in on the pity party, it too shall pass.  Pity parties can come when you are worn out too! Ha!  Between work, three kids, doctor appointments, and just life in general...it was bound to happen. Oh, did I mention we are doing all kinds of stuff to the house lately?  Maybe all the painting and home projects added to the tiredness, which lead to...You see where I'm going with this!  Anyways, I just need to recharge and remember I was chosen! I was trusted!  I am honored!

The Special Mother
by Erma Bombeck

Did you ever wonder how mothers of disabled children were chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over the earth selecting his instruments of propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"This one gets a daughter. The Patron saint will be Cecelia"
"This one gets twins. The Patron saint will be Matthew"
"This one gets a son. The Patron saint.....give her Gerard. She's used to profanity"

Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a disabled child".

The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy"

"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a disabled child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel!"

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of sorrow and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it. I watched her today, she has that feeling of self and independence that is so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make him live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you"

God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect - she has just enough selfishness"

The angel gasps - "Selfishness? is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally she won't survive. Yes here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'. She will never consider any 'step' ordinary. When her child says "Momma" for the first time she will be present at a miracle and will know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty and prejudice...and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as if she is here by my side"

"And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid air.
God smiles "A mirror will suffice"