ONE!

Dearest Reid,
       I can't believe that a year has already found us.  Last night we stayed up later than usual and I couldn't help but think about where we were a year ago.  It's funny how as the hours passed I relived each memory as if it were yesterday.  As I crawled into bed and the clock stuck 12:00 midnight I thought about how a year ago we were checking into the hospital and the fear was dominating my every thought.
       This morning I woke up at 6:00 am.  You were born at 6:14 am.  Our house was very quiet this morning as I watched you sleeping.  You slept so peacefully and something about the rhythmic pattern of your breathing brings me so much comfort and joy.  You are here baby boy!  You are a miracle to our family!  I want you to know that you were destined to be mine since the very thought of another baby crossed my mind.  Life is an amazing thing.  It changes with the wind and sometimes when you least expect it, something beautiful can bloom. 

 

       We have been super busy trying to prepare for your first birthday bash!  Today was full of football games and baseball practices but we were able to squeeze in some cake smashing! ;) (I was determined for you to eat cake on this day!) By the way...I pray you get my perseverance! 

 

 I just love your facial expressions sometimes!!  Here I imagine you're thinking... "Alright, this chair means food, bring on the FOOD!"

 

Happy birthday to YOU!!! Happy birthday to you!  Happy birthday dear Reid..Happy birthday to YOUUUUUUUUUUU!!

 

 

 A little help....

 This cracks me up!!!  Briggs blew the candle out too quickly so I asked them to all pose as if they were still blowing it out so I could get the shot.  Again, Reid's expression!!!

 

While my men were posing as requested, the Reidster decides to take a swipe of frosting!  Go ahead and dig in baby!!  Reid, we laughed and laughed about this one! :)

 

 

The vultures came...

 Reid, I hope you have had a wonderful birthday...partying right around the corner buddy!  I love you more than you'll ever know!

 

-Momma

 



11 months :)

Ahhhhhhh! I had this post saved and never realized I didn't publish it.  EEK!  Well here it is.... better late than never!

 

Eleven months old now with a birthday right around the corner!  I'm trying to put it all together, plus work, plus get Spencer and Briggs to every practice and game scheduled, plus schedule Reid's sleep study and next appointments to Johns Hopkins (he's getting an MRI this next time), plus, plus, plus!!!!

Reid is doing great!  He's really got that head control thing down now. :) He's rolling all around and turning in different directions while on his tummy.  I'm thinking crawling may be somewhere in the near future (fingers crossed). 

 

 I celebrate every one of Reid's accomplishments like I've never seen a baby accomplish it before.  In some ways, it's like he's my first.  I know that sounds weird, but his development has been quite different than my other two.  I was really worried that he wouldn't be sitting up enough to tear into his first birthday cake.  I was already going over things in my head...how I would hold the cake instead and bring it closer in toward him.  Well, this past week he began sitting up from a reclined position (it was like baby crunches!) and feeding himself without my help!  He LOVES to grab things with the pincher grasp and plunk them into his mouth.  But, I have been handing those things (PUFFS :) ) to him.  Now I can cut different foods up and place them on his highchair tray instead of handing them over!  I'm telling you, the first time I saw him do this I was so excited that my dad had to tell me to take it down a smidge and not make Reid laugh while he had food in his mouth!! LOVE IT!!! :)) So, cake smashing here we come!!!

 



We took Reid into the front yard with Fairbanks Jr. to snap a few photos in hopes that a great shot could be used in his birthday invites.  Well, you know how it goes.  Give him a bottle and a nap, all should be great...AND...serious baby it is.  Go figure!  He's adorable any way he models. :)  I totally crack up seeing the shots of Rico trying to take his thumb out of his mouth.  He is such a THUMB SUCKER!!!

 

Serious thumb sucking going on here...

 

Color

 These are some photos that were taken at the same time as the black and whites I used in the last post.  While I LOVE black and white photos, I really love these in color too!  :)

 

 

 It's not black and white...it's sepia! ;)

Strength

Strength is such a funny thing.  I've always considered myself a strong person.  I was raised by two hard working parents and while I may have been spoiled loved uncontrollably (only child), I've always known that deep down inside of me there is a strength that would carry me through.  But what does strength really mean?  Is it finishing college with a baby?  Is it working hard in a career?  Is it being there when a loved one takes their last breath?  Or, is it going through the deepest pain possible and not just surviving but thriving?

I would have to say that this time a year ago, I was going through the deepest pain I've ever been through.  I was mourning the life I had always dreamed of for my unborn baby.  September 6, 2011 we were told that the baby we had been anxiously awaiting would be born with skeletal dysplasia.  Furthermore, we didn't even know if he would make it.  Pain can be characterized in may ways, but for me, this was the ultimate.  Some people know themselves well enough to know they never want to have children and while I have always really respected these people, I am not one of them.  Not even close.  I was the little girl dragging the baby dolls around since I could walk.  My grandmother has told me that I would sit for hours and "mama" those babies.  I used to dream of the day when my real babies would become just that, real.  So, for someone to say that my sweet baby boy would be born with major complications or even not even make it...well, that's pain.  That is real pain. 

 

The expression, "What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger", really drove me nuts this time last year.  It was like a ringing in my ears that I just couldn't shake.  I had everyone telling me that everything would be fine and all I could think was, "What do you know?".  None of us are in control.  Life is a ride and we are all just trying to hang on.  Now, some of us get to ride the nice smooth merry-go-round, while others will endure the roller coaster with its' ups and downs but either way it's not important but it does make you wonder.  I, by the way, am learning to love the roller coaster. :)

 With pain, comes healing.  Healing that makes us understand that life goes on and that we can not only survive, but thrive.  A year ago I cried many hours of each day.  I could barely "pull it together" to mother my other two precious boys and most nights were filled with desperate prayers.  It's amazing how small you can feel when you really know that you don't have the slightest bit of control.  Day by day the end of the pregnancy became a reality until one night we were on our way to meet our destiny.  Today, I wish I could go back and comfort that girl inside of me a year ago.  I wish I could go back and show her this...

 I wish she had known deep down inside that those people were right...everything would be fine, life does go on, and maybe even, "What doesn't kill us DOES make us stronger". 

 I will always worry about Reid.  But, I will always worry about Spencer and Briggs, it's how I'm built.  Maybe that little girl worried over those baby dolls many, many years ago. :) For now, I will enjoy running in from work seeing a smiley, happy baby.  I will take pleasure in watching him grow and know that every milestone is a miracle.

 



Strength is a wonderful thing.  I'm almost in awe of how strong people can be.  I never would have thought a few years ago we would be right here, but since we are, I think I'll enjoy the ride.

10 months

I'm a month behind on this post....Reid was 10 months old on August 25 (See what I mean?  A whole month behind...EEK!).  I'm going to make this a quick posts with a few pics from last month. :)

 

 

Someone LOVES to eat puffs!

 

 

10 months:

 

Head circumference: 20  3/8 inches

 

Height:  26 inches

 

Weight:  19lbs 15oz